IDLE HANDS

I have here a formula for you to attract male’s (if you are at all interested in this).
I’ve accidentally ran across this formula by accident, and since I don’t really feel like attracting guy’s I’m sharing this with you.

Step 1:
Go to a public place, or a place with many people. This can be an airplane, airport, train, train station, bus, pub, restaurant, hospital waiting room, wherever there is more then 0 persons really.

Step 2:
Take out your iPad, and start using it for _whatever_

Step 3:
Let them come to you, because they will come. Especially if you live in a country where they are not released yet. Like in Sweden, where I live.

Step 4:
Let them touch it, feel it, and somehow they feel obliged to small talk to you.

Step 5: profit (if you are in to that sort of thing)

If you like this small how-to and find the soul mate of your life, please invite me to your wedding/partner registration ceremony!

Ostrich Egg’s and LED’s is all you need to have to make a nice lamp for you’re mom. If you’re mom is anything like my mom she will like it a lot.

Hang on, I have to go tell the kids to quiet down and go to sleep instead of saying butt to each other.

It’s pretty easy to make, this is what you need. 1 intense LED (like the one’s you have in spotlights) a resistor to match the powersupply you’re connecting it to and an egg from an ostrich.

Here are some pictures on how I connected it all.

Me and Petter has released another Pigfart video.
watch it here:

In southern Sweden there is a bizarre tradition around eastern. There is something called the art-round. Where artists open their homes and studios to the public. Mostly these are painters, glass-fusing, clay forming middle to old-aged women without talent.

My wife love’s going on these tours, mostly because it boost’s her self-esteem when she could art the shit out of most of the art we see. And secondly because when you find something nice, it’s nice.

Today me the wife, the kids and my wife’s mum where out looking at art. Among the masses of crap, there was a few very nice paintings.

Also, there was a video-installation at this one place, the photos where bad and the projector they ran it on had either 8 or 16 bit color resolution, so the gradients where bad. But they had drone music to it. And that drone was awesome.

At another place, there was a bagpipe, and my wife easily found the guy who played it (he was the one painting the water-color-paintings at the place) and she asked him if he could play, and he almost ran to the instrument to play some for us.

Bagpipes are loud, it was awesome.

I also fond ecological kimchi close to the bagpiper, and I bought it. But I haven’t yet eaten it.

My twitterbot that you can se at http://twitter.com/i_am_larsulrich has been running for a while now.
Right now there are 115 followers (and I’ve done no advertisement at all) but what is more fun is the 12 759 tweets, all of them with the same profane word.

FUN-Y if you ask me!

Gizmodo has a competition in witch you can win an iPad. All you have to do is design something awesomely good looking or embarrassing. I went for embarrassing 🙂

Faked signatures of people that died before the iPad was revealed, and two guys from Microsoft.

On the side I make VST plugins, I publish a few of them on a site called shuriken.se. A few years back I though that this would someday be my main source of income, but thankfully I did not quit my day–job to work on it fulltime.
I have asked for donations in the manual and lately in the plug’s user interface, I though I was going to get donations enough to buy a little hardware here and there and I hoped to be able to buy something nice for myself now and then. As you all know being into making music cost’s a lot.
However, while I think I have had success in getting popular with my plugins, being on the cover disk of at least ten issues of different magazines both in Europe and Asia and 92259 downloads March 20th 2010 I have received 100 US Dollars in donations. 50 of those from one guy, the rest from about five, six other, all donating 10 USD or similar (100 SEK, 10 Austrailan dollars etc).

What I’ve noticed is that users don’t read manuals, they don’t even care if you don’t write one. And no matter how the graphics for your UI looks it’s always ugly to some. Perhaps because the plugins are free or pretty self-explaining the manual is not needed? I don’t know. I don’t really know why I’m telling you guy’s this. There are a few small developers that are making a living of making VST’s but I’m not gotta be one of them. Perhaps iPad fart applications?

Here are the numbers of the downloads I’ve parsed out of the server-logs, at the bottom is the calculation of how much I’ve received donations per download for.

Kerrstin windows: 4107
Kerrstin os x: 1819
Kerrstin windows 1.2: 9623
Kerrstin os x 1.2: 6362
Copyshop windows: 7049
Copyshop os x: 4560
Repeatler UB os x: 1520
SqakAttack windows: 4563
SqakAttack os x: 2580
Berrtill windows: 17247
Berrtill os x: 8805
Shredder windows: 6364
Shredder os x: 4919
Eckel windows: 4237
Eckel os x: 1835
BitTest windows: 0
BitTest os x: 754
A total of: 92259
Every plug downloaded has had a donation for $ .00108390509327003327
Every plug downloaded has had a donation for SEK .00777918685439902882

One thing that American movies and TV-shows tells us is that if you tuck your kids in at night, you’re a good parent. If you take the time to sit a little at the edge of the bed and then sigh a bit, you’re a great parent. If the other parent stands and looks at you from the door frame  you’re awesome.

I’ve reached great loads of times, but awesome only a few times!

BitTest is a sweet little bitcrusher VST, it converts your data to 8 bits, then you can turn the bit’s off (the top row) or invert them (the bottom row) individually. That is you can individually flip and invert the bits.

Get this VST and more over at www.shuriken.se where I publish my VST’s

Guess this thing about me not releasing them for windows is gonna go down in flames 🙂

Ohh, and there is an audiosample here

I thought it would be fun to make a mockup of my future (way future I hope) gravestone. And have comic sans (the font) as a font.

This would be sort of a last prank from me, and pretty funny, don’t cha think? I mean, the ones I know still living would give it a smile every time they saw it, I think.

The sad thing is, they already exist. And not in my fun cheek in tounge loving sort of hipster way, they are real! This scares me and makes me sad at the same time. Have a look:

and